‘Saans lene ke bhi paise lagte hai’: NRI woman sparks debate on why meeting friends in India always comes with a bill

For most urban Indians, catching up with friends is practically synonymous with ordering coffee or booking a table at a restaurant — “Milna hai toh pehle decide karo coffee kahan peeni hai.”

Somehow, this fairly common practice irked a NRI woman visiting from Australia, who highlighted that this routine social habit is like an unavoidable “social tax”—cabs, drinks, cover charges, dining out, and incidental spending just to share the same space as your friends—adding up invisibly in the moment, only to hit like a ton of bricks once you look at the total.

This sparked a social media debate about why metro cities make you a “customer before you can simply just be a person”.

In a viral Instagram Reel, Smidha, a desi expat from Australia, noticed that meeting friends in India always comes with a bill.

“I realised how much money I spent just trying to hang out (in India),” she said. “I was in Mumbai and generally wanted to explore the city, and somehow every plan either became about a cafe, restaurant or a mall.”

She said that before moving to Australia, she never even noticed this cafe culture because, like every Indian, it seemed normal to her.

The contrast becomes stark for Smidha because she had experienced a culture with functional public infrastructure in Australia, where simply sitting in a park or wandering by the beach came without a mandatory transaction.

“In Australia, you can meet a friend for a coastal walk, sit in a park for hours, or spend an afternoon in a public library without spending a dollar. You don’t need a receipt to justify your presence,” she said.

But in India, Smidha said, “Milna hai to pehle decide karo coffee kahan peeni hai.(Decide where to have a coffee if you want to meet).” “Somewhere along the way, a lot of our cities became places where you have to be a customer before you can simply just be a person.”

Later in the comment section, Smidha asked if consumerism is an Indian problem, or “did we just get so used to cafes and malls that we forgot how to hang out for free?”

The viral post struck a chord with social media users who felt frustrated by socialising, which felt more like an expensive transaction than a meaningful connection.

“India is about malls and shops .. no community spaces left anywhere,” a user said. “Going out to eat or drink is somehow the only concept of socialising nowadays (in India),” added another user.

“Summer heat, non-existent nature and public infrastructure in the cities force us to limit ourselves to indoor spaces only!” a user said.

“Public spaces, Infrastructure is such that only money can give you a space to sit with someone outside your home. India needs to work upon this, but wait, politicians do have their farmhouse, and they don't care about this issue at all,” added another user.

Arshdeep Kaur is a Senior Content Producer at Mint, where she reports and edits across national and international politics, business and culture‑adjacent trending stories for digital audience. With five years in the newsroom, she strives to balance the speed and rigor of fast‑moving news cycles and longer, context‑rich explainers.

Before joining LiveMint, Arshdeep served as a Senior Sub‑Editor at Business Standard and earlier as a Sub‑Editor at Asian News International (ANI). Her experience spans live news flows, enterprise features, and multi‑platform packaging.

At Mint, she regularly writes explainers, quick takes, and visuals‑led stories that are optimized for search and social, while maintaining the publication’s standards for accuracy and clarity. She collaborates closely with editors and the audience team to frame angles that resonate with readers in India and abroad, and to translate complex developments into accessible, high‑impact journalism.

Arshdeep's academic training underpins her interest towards policy and markets. She earned an MA in Economics from Panjab University and holds a Post‑Graduate Diploma in Broadcast Journalism from the India Today Media Institute (ITMI). This blend of economics and broadcast storytelling informs her coverage of public policy, elections, macro themes, and the consumer‑internet zeitgeist.

Arshdeep is based in New Delhi, where she tracks breaking developments and longer‑horizon storylines that shape public discourse.